buggerzblog 6

So here we are again in WITZleben!! ( oife’s joke).


The doctor has just been to see me and has assured me that it will do me a world of good, to set down the following load of boring shit!!

The problem I have with driving along this long road to Berlin-Staaken is that it at every corner reminds me of the biggest mistake I ever made in my life: which was nothing more perverse thene to finally have a live-in boyfriend: I won’t tell you his name: many of you will know what a facade and time-waster the whole thing was and I strung it out for 18 years!! HOW MASOCHISTIC can a stupid bugger be???


Well I had read  in some womens’ magazine at the dentist, that if you had an affair: you had to work hard  at it!! for 18 years: and only at the very end did I see the light of day: well it must have been the late 1970’s that I met him, when he was working as a  set dresser on   a German film which my then flatmate was designing: it was instant writhing sexual extasy from the start: always a big mistake, I hear you sigh! Well suddenly we were on holiday in Morocco: and on the way back the dish suggested we live together, even though he lived in Berlin and I in London: For me it was my first chance to try a truly monogamous gay relationship: It was very rapidly made clear to me that this was a no-chancer: it would be more welcome at the dinner table if I remained as promiscuous as before: otherwise what would we have to talk about at the dinner table?? the gay version of “How was your day at the office darling: only who did you shag today, where and how often??”


We kept on at this rather bumpily for a few years until he returned to Berlin to do film work: Eventually I hesitantly gave up the theatre and followed: we founded a very shakey company in Spandau: which promptly collapsed: We fled to London, I picked up some of the pieces, but he didn’t:  so he left for Germany again and rang one day to say that he had married a woman: Thsnk you very much!!


(this lasted a few months and then he was on the doorstep in London looking for a roof again: I let him in: we moved house and inevitábly we both became HIV+ as soon as humanly possible: It was the fasion, you see:


So we staggered along loving hating one another: I bought a house in Normandie: He bought one in Marrakech: A very handy arrangement!!

Since by then he was a devout Muslim: and refused to even acknowledge the existence of a n illness known as AIDS other than to suggest that it was a curse from Allah and was a punishment which he had to bear: so he refused medication and subsequently died in Berlin in an aids hospice 3 or 4 years ago: I sold the house in Normandie: and moved to Hamburg: where I lived very happyly until I had a stroke last year: So now: I am the great survivor: The shagging Bugger at 70: Serves me right for hanging on: It must be because I appreciate the sound of truly successful applause ( thank you Patience): So I have done what  the doctor prescribed. and also the smart lady in the theatre group who said “write all that shit down once and for all”


So here’s hoping!


The ‘Fun’ thing today is hearing constant Welsh accents from mid-Wales, almost the place my father came from: and testing the staff here  by trying to get them to prononce MACHYNLLETH: The SKY newsreaders are not so hot at it either! ( a poor kid was abducted there last night and is lost in the mountains and bracken:





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